RYLAN Clark has revealed his marriage crumbled after he admitted cheating on his husband – and he later attempted suicide.
The situation was so difficult that Rylan said he no longer wanted to be alive and subsequently tried to end his life – which he is now glad he was unsuccessful at.
In his new book Ten: The Decade That Changed My Future, he writes: “I woke up one morning and decided to tell my now ex that I had cheated on him, years ago.
“I’m not sure why it was that time, or that day I had to do it. But I did.”
On the reaction, Rylan, 33, continues: “He left. He told me it was over and that was that.
“You’re not surprised? I get that. But I couldn’t believe it.”
Rylan subsequently struggled with his mental health and said he would go to sleep praying “I wouldn’t wake up,” then tried to end his life.
He says: “For the first time in my 32 years, I felt I couldn’t carry on no more.
“’What’s the point?’ I thought. I’d lost what I thought was everything, the one thing I always wanted. A man I loved. A family of my own. And now it was gone.
“So I tried to end it.
“I won’t go into detail as I don’t think it’s fair on my mum, but thank God I was unsuccessful.”
The wake-up call led to him being admitted into a mental hospital to aid his recovery amid a five-month career break for the sake of his health.
Rylan later also suffered heart failure and was rushed to hospital where he had his heart restarted, as he revealed during a book talk on Wednesday evening.
You’re Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide.
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
that is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organizations provide support:
- CALM, www.thecalmzone.net0800 585 858
- heads together, www.headstogether.org.uk
- Mind, www.mind.org.uk0300 123 3393
- Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, samaritans.org116 123
- Movember, www.uk.movember.com
- Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk03444 775 774 Monday-Friday 9.30am-10pm, Saturday/Sunday 10am-8pm
Addressing why he had previously cheated, Rylan adds: “I have no excuses for what I did way back then, but I had my reasons.
“The reality is that over the course of my relationship I had started to feel wrong: I felt I was wrong for being successful, wrong for being me. Everyone around me could see things weren’t quite right.”
During the talk at London’s Royal Festival Hall, he said: “Twice last year I ended up in the back of an ambulance because my heart failed.
“I just remember the shot going in and all of a sudden this feeling from the middle of your body, both ways, it almost takes you over, and you just stop and my heart stopped.
“There’s just seven faces and this bright light just looking at me. And then I took a breath. And they were like, ‘He’s in a normal rhythm’.
“I was like, ‘What the f**k is going on?’”
Rylan had seen his heart rate soar up to 248 BPM, far above the average which lies between 60 and 120 BPM.
His friends and family had initially told him it was due to his heartbreak, but he insisted it was more serious.
Rylan continued: “I knew it wasn’t right. It turned out that my heart had to be restarted.
“I remember laying in resus and I had all these pads on with all these wires and not understanding what it was.
“It was only afterwards that I said, ‘What was the pads for?’ And they said, ‘If you didn’t take your breath… because we would have had to restart you electrically’.
“You don’t even think about it when you’re there. So I didn’t just get mentally ill, I got physically ill.”
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the samaritans for free on 116123.